In life, it is totally normal to go through phases of joy and phases of sadness. Highs and lows. Expansion and contraction.
That fluctuation helps create balance in our life. It’s not always summer, but winter can’t last forever either.
In the same way that we enjoy the highs, we must learn to embrace the lows.
Remember that it’s okay to cry your heart out. It’s okay to eat junk food all day long. It’s okay to think that no one will ever love you again (ps: it’s not true).
No, you’re not attracting more negativity into your life through the law of attraction.
Yes, you do have the right to feel bad and process your emotions without guilt.
And when you feel ready to get out of the funk, try one -or many of the tips below. Those are the things that always help me get out of the funk and feel like myself again.
1-Let it out:
The only way to get rid of negative emotions is to let them be expressed fully.
I want you to get super dramatic here: Cry out loud if you can. Weep. Scream. Punch your pillows. Listen to that very sad song. Send that audio to your mom (where half of what you say is inaudible because we can’t hear you over the crying).
The point here is to let the emotions move through your body. When you don’t resist the emotions that come up, it becomes easier to let them go.
On a calmer note, write it out. Take any journal, any piece of paper, or even your note app, and write whatever you’re feeling.
If you’re not into writing –in this case how dare you but– you can record yourself talking it out.
It is essential that you express your feelings without any censorship. You need to be completely open and honest with yourself and describe exactly how you feel.
You can burn what you wrote or delete what you recorded afterward; no one will ever know about it.
2-Read what you need:
Reading in general is awesome. But when you’re in a funk, you need to find THE book that you need at the moment. The way I go about this is simply by googling books about the subject I need.
I was personally in need of self-love and healing, and I needed the book to be written by a woman. So, I found just the right book for me: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. It’s a book about creative living, but it happened to be exactly what I needed.
So, go knock on our friend Google’s door and ask for the book you need.
Here are some search ideas: Best books about healing the inner child. Spiritual books written by women. Self-love books written by a black person. Books about finding your purpose. Best books for improving your relationship.
I’m not going to teach you how to make a google search. But my point here is to get as specific as possible about what you need so that you get accurate suggestions.
You’ll probably also get scarily specific ads everywhere on your social media, but that’s a subject for another day. Maybe just go incognito before you start your search.
3-Have a bath or take a shower:
I’m going to be really vulnerable here. When I’m in a funk, the last thing I want to do is to shower. Actually, the last thing I want to do is anything. I just want to lay there and cease to exist.
The problem is that this is one of the most vicious circles I can get into: feeling sad and depressed, wanting to just lay in bed, not showering, feeling dirty and disgusting, feeling sad and depressed, wanting to just lay in bed…
The cycle goes on and on until I find some courage to drag myself to the bathroom and take a shower.
Once that is done, every time, and without exceptions, I feel much better.
This is not a revelation or some breaking news. We all know that showering makes us feel better. But it’s ironic how hard it can be to do the things that we need the most.
So, if you haven’t done it yet today -or even if you have, I invite you to hop in the shower and let the water do its magic.
Do it now. You don’t even need to finish reading this article. It’s still going to be here when you come back.
Move your body:
If you’re anything like me, then you don’t like to work out or go for a run. The good news is that you don’t have to.
By moving your body, I mean literally just that. Go for a walk, or walk around the house if you can’t go out. Do some yoga or stretch. Move slowly to the sound of music or silence. Dance and jump if you want to.
The point of moving your body is not exercising. It is letting the emotions out and dropping into the present moment through your body.
When we are feeling sad, we are in our heads. We are thinking of everything that had gone wrong, that is going wrong, and that will ever go wrong in our life.
But when we drop into our body, we are focusing more on the present moment, on how our body feels, on what it’s capable of doing.
I had a short yoga session last night and I was mesmerized by the openness and availability of my body. I couldn’t help but marvel at it and thank it for everything that it does to keep me alive and thriving.
Your body loves you, it keeps you alive. And I think it’s only fair to give it some love back by moving it and noticing how it feels.
Those were the things that help me feel good and get out of my funk, and I’m sure they’ll be of great help to you too.
Don’t hesitate to speak to your loved ones or to a therapist about what you’re going through. There is always someone out there for you and you don’t have to go through it on your own.
If anything, my Instagram DMs and email are open and I am here for you.
Important note: if you stay in a funk for weeks, it’s probably more than that. Depression can easily be dismissed as “just a bad phase”. Please seek professional help, it will do a whole lot of difference.
Cover photo by Joshua Rawson via Unsplash